Too Darn Hot
by Endless Song
Summary: It's a hot day in Soul Society, and Ikkaku and Yumichika aren't in the best of moods. Oneshot.


This is a colab fic between me and my friend. Though she is not a member of she can be found on AFF as Vangel. 

Disclaimer:Bleach doesn't belong to us. The characters you see in this fanfic were kidnapped and made to act entirely against their will. So, as long as you got that straight and don't sue us and we just may write more for our (and hopefully your) amusement. 

Ikkaku lounged back against the wall; fanning himself with the back of his hand and watching a cicada flitter by. Even out on the porch it was too damn hot today, he scowled, the hot weather putting a damper on his mood.

Inside Yumichika was observing the reflection in the mirror. No matter what he did his hair and eyelashes would just not stay put, it was just too hot. Today he would just have to go on without his looks up to his usual standards.

"Hey Yumichika… How about brinin' me the sake?" Ikkaku shouted into the house as he slumped down even farther, his muscular chest almost fully exposed he was wearing his yukata so loose. He didn't feel like getting it himself.

The brunette thought to argue and tell Ikakku to get his own damn sake, but decided against it. Sake would be nice right about now. He took one last look in the mirror, deciding to take off all the extras he usually added to his uniform on a normal day, as all it did was make the heat more unbearable.

A minute later Yumichika walked out onto the porch, a sake jug in one hand and two cups in the other. He sat beside Ikkaku, saying nothing more than "Here" as he handed Ikkaku his cup and pouring himself some sake, then handing the jug over to his bald friend.

"Mmm" Ikkaku responded by way of gratitude and poured the jug's contents out into his own cup after weighting the jug in his hand to see how much his dear partner actually left him. It would do. He took his share of the drink and sipped it a few times in silence.

A cicada drifted onto the porch and landed nearly on the crest of Ikkaku's bald head. He twitched, with a rage spawned from restless energy.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yumichika watched as the cicada landed on the sweat-shined head. He couldn't help but to smirk and take a drink of his own sake. "It looks like you have a friend, Ikkaku," he said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"You think this is real, funny, don't 'cha?" Ikkaku growled. He plucked the bug from its spot, flicked it too the ground and brought his foot down on the hapless creature remorsefully. He ground the remains into the ground for good measure and spat at it.

"That's what I think of twerp-assed bugs who land on my head" He made a face he reckoned was fairly terrifying and settled back with his sake.

Yumichika mad a face, quite aware that the bald man's foot now had bug guts on it. Bug guts were even uglier than the bug itself. There was no way he was going to let Ikkaku sit close to him now. He scooted away an inch or two, hoping Ikkaku wouldn't sit the same amount of distance he was from Yumichika to begin with.

Yumichika's displacement didn't go unnoticed. Feeling brushed off for his aggressive display Ikkaku set his jaw, narrowed his eyes, and moved a good two feet closer.

The face Yumichika had been making before just got more disgusted. Not only did Ikkaku have bug guts on the bottom of his foot, but he was also dripping with sweat. This was something Yumichika didn't find at all attractive. "Ikkaku… your head is shining… the glare is blinding me," he said, turning his nose up slightly.

"Well you look like an old hag today without your makeup on, even old man Yamato wouldn't touch you!" Ikkaku snapped back, sitting upright and taking personal offence to Yumichika's usual criticism.

The brunette jumped up, knocking of his sake cup in the process. He took no notice of this as he pointed a finger at Ikkaku, "You take that back, "Baldie!" he yelled, using Yachiru's usual nickname for him, just because he knew he hated it.

Ikkaku leapt up, dropping his cup likewise. He wasn't an angry man, usually. He wasn't over pugnacious or aggressive. But he was in the 11th division, which testified that he was certifiably insane. With a furious cry he gave in to his poorer judgment and tackled the man he lived with. "It's not 'Baldie!'" He roared.

Yumichika hit the floor at the impact of Ikkaku's tackle. Lucky for Yumichika, he knew Ikkaku all too well, and was prepared for such a thing. While he was just too fast to side-step, he was able to fall so that the impact didn't hurt nearly as much as it could have. He was very aware of the bald man's closeness now, but didn't show it. Instead, he turned his head to the side, once again making a face. "Your breath smells too."

Ikkaku stared, hunched over Yumichika with a displeased face. "Feh…. It's too hot for this" He sulked, lethargy setting back in. He slumped down on the other Shinigami, hoping the weight and heat of his body would be irritating.

"Ikkaku!" Yumichika yelled out, as he tried to push the taller and heavier man off him. He was right; it was much too hot for this. He could feel himself sweating way more than he would have liked to with the extra weight, and he didn't like it one bit. He struggled for another moment or two, finally giving up and slumping down. He was sure he knew exactly how this would have looked to any Shinigami passing by, and didn't care one bit… besides; they were probably all too used to it.

"Heh heh heh heh" Ikkaku chuckled, marking this as a victory for himself. A Hot, sticky, sweaty victory, but a victory none the less. "…We should hit the bath house…" He suggested. "I'll carry you" he added, feeling a little guilty about the Yamato comment.

A bath sounded wonderful to Yumichika right now. He opened his mouth to say he could carry himself, but decided against it. He would let Ikkaku suffer the heat as he carried him…. Now, if only he would get off of him.

"…Yeah. That means moving…. I forgot" Ikkaku lamented with a blank look in his eyes. He flopped off Yukichika, unable to take anymore heat pressing against his bare chest.

The two laid there for a few minutes, both of them too hot and sweaty to move. "Yes… moving would help," Yumichika finally said, still not making the effort to get up.

Ikkaku finally caved. Rolling up to his feet, he laboriously lifted Yukichika from the ground, and over one shoulder. He was easier to carry this way.

Under normal circumstances, Yumichika might have put up a fight for being carried in such a manner. But today, he didn't even bother, letting Ikkaku do all the work as he slowly made his way to the bath house. As he was carried, Yumichika hoped that a trip to bathhouse would lift both of their bad moods… and hopefully they would have it alone to themselves… Yeah, like that would ever happen in Soul Society. 


End file.
